Pushing Through

Monday was one of those “I feel so normal, how can I possibly have cancer” days.  I felt great, had TONS of energy……ran a few errands in town and even cooked dinner.  The weather last night was PERFECT back porch weather.  I had to MAKE myself go in at bedtime…..I was truly enjoying sitting outside, listening to the sounds of nature……and enjoying the nice breeze.  It doesn’t get much better than that! 🙂

Once I could no longer hold my eyes open……I reluctantly went inside and went to bed.  CC was not feeling yesterday and appeared to be coming down with a cold (or better known around here as “the MAN flu”….google it – it’s a thing).  Because I am so FEARFUL of catching ANYTHING due to my compromised immune system……I slept in the spare bedroom last night.  One can’t be too cautious!  I love him, but I don’t want whatever he’s got!

I woke up around 6am this morning and used the potty and went right back to bed.  The next thing I know – I woke up and looked at the clock…….it was 10:15am.  Holy smokes Batman!  What in the world??  I struggled even then to focus  on the clock – my eyes were stuck together I had slept so hard.  You would think I would have felt like I could conquer the world after a night of sleep like that…..but I. JUST. COULDN’T. wake up.  A shower ALWAYS works.  NOT TODAY!  I literally felt like I could fall asleep at a moments notice all day long.  I didn’t feel AWFUL, but I didn’t feel great at all.  Total 180 degrees from the day I had yesterday.  That HAS to be the most difficult thing for me to wrap my brain around about all this.  How you can go from 0-60mph in no time flat?  I don’t know…… but you can.

Today was the first day I really felt like I had to PUSH THROUGH and just not give in.  I just felt “different” today.  And….1) i don’t like not feeling good and…2) I don’t like admitting that I don’t feel good.  I really do try to be a glass half full kinda person.

I was afraid if I slept all day (which I’m confident I could have) that I would have been up all night – and then that just creates a vicious cycle.  I busied myself with anything just to keep from going to bed and sleeping the day away.  We even gave Bella a MUCH needed bath (she probably wished I had chosen to take a nap)…..but we can’t have a stinking dog around here!

So now that we’ve made it past dinner (thanks BJ for the peas and corn and the peach preserves were awesome Janis!)……I’m back out on the porch….to enjoy this wonderful weather again for a little bit before calling it night.

I guess our bodies know what we need – and apparently I had run a little low on sleep.  I wonder if the cooler temperatures helped me sleep more soundly?  I dunno.  I hope and pray I sleep as good tonight……but I do hope I wake up more “alert” tomorrow than I was today!

But either way……I’m thankful……thankful for God’s blessings on me on days when I feel like crap.  Thankful that I didn’t have to worry about dinner for my crew – BJ took care of that for me……thankful that my guys are understanding that somedays mom just is not at her best.  There’s still SOOOOO much to be thankful for.

I’m sure this won’t be the only day that pushing through will be a challenge…..I feel sure there will be many more “not so great days” along this ride…….but having days like today make days like YESTERDAY all the more precious……and I look forward to more good days than bad.

Man….I really hate to leave this back porch again…..thank you Lord for this perfect weather!

Nite!

Sonja

Psalm 18:32New International Version (NIV)

Author: temporarylumps

A Christian wife, mom, daughter and friend View all posts by temporarylumps